Releasing The Pattern of Force
Why letting go of forceful leadership matters now more than ever
Peace Overtures Today is a weekly newsletter dedicated to guiding individuals on their personal quest for inner peace. Each week, I share a movie that helped me discover balance. It’s a process of awareness and healing that leads to sparks of joy. I’m sincerely grateful to have you here with me.
This Week’s AMP Film Upgrade: Whiplash (2014)
Stop the force pattern at work and home
Excellence doesn’t have to come from pain
Repairing rapport is difficult
People can withstand only so much intensity
Force, rudeness, and unkindness is dysfunctional and leads to disengaged employees.
This week's post explores the concept of breaking free from the pattern of force in management. We explore the “old-school” management philosophy of using force to get things done on your team. It’s a style that's abrasive, intense, and demanding. In many ways, it can border on being abusive.
While we often label it as "old school," this relentless approach of constantly pushing your team still occurs in today's workplace. In fact, as a culture, we often admire leaders who demand nothing short of excellence and who employ the "ends justifies the means" approach to get there.
However, this style of leadership, which believes that force is the only means to drive people towards excellence, is fundamentally misguided. This week, our featured AMP film, Whiplash (2014) illustrates this pattern of force and why it's no longer effective, especially for those who aspire to lead with heart, inspire others, and empower them to succeed.
If you’re in a work culture that perpetuates using force with it’s team members, then this AMP session Whiplash (2014) will elevate you’re awareness to this limiting way of leading people.
The following excerpt is from our Peace Overtures Radio podcast included in this post. If you prefer the podcast, you can listen to it below. At the end of the podcast, Sue-Anne features a helpful mini-session called: Making Room For Growth
Andrew Neyman, is a drummer at one of the country's premier music schools. He's driven by the desire to be the best and dedicates himself to this goal. His journey takes a pivotal turn when he secures a spot in the school's top jazz band, thanks to the infamous instructor, Terence Fletcher, portrayed by J.K. Simmons.
Fletcher has a reputation for leading a group of exceptional musicians. He's known for his toughness, demanding nature, and, at times, his ruthless approach. Fletcher doesn't shy away from belittling his students, playing mind games, and fostering competition among them to drive them harder. As he bluntly tells Andy,
"I push people beyond what's expected of them. I believe that's an absolute necessity.”
Fletcher never eases up, and his outbursts sometimes seem more for dramatic effect than thoughtful instruction. He's relentless in his pursuit of pushing his students to their limits, famously stating,
"There are no two words in the English language more harmful than 'good job.’"
As you watch the film, the jazz is definitely well-played, tight and exciting to watch. How they get there is difficult, painful, and hard to watch.
Now, let's shift our focus to this pattern of force and explore how you can begin transitioning away from this style of management.
Stop The Force Pattern At Work and Home
My work is about transforming patterns through the Alignment Movie Process (AMP). What I'm addressing here is how our beliefs resonate and get passed down through generations, persisting like fractals. These patterns play a significant role in shaping the culture we experience both at home and in our workplaces.
The emotional patterns and leadership styles that exist at the inception of a company tend to resonate throughout the entire organization. Even when the CEO and founder move on, these styles of management often persist until a conscious effort is made to change them.
But how do these energetic patterns replicate themselves?
We transmit them to our team members, teaching them that this is how things are done. If you're running a leadership style based on force, chances are high that you learned it from your parents, teachers, or business mentors. As you step into a leadership role, you usually pass down this culture of force to the next generation, and the cycle continues. To break this cycle, the first step is recognizing it as an issue and then taking deliberate steps to choose a different path.
Whiplash poses an important question:
Where in your life do you exhibit this type of leadership?
The Whiplash AMP session can help you energetically shift this pattern. Once you make this inner transformation, you'll likely observe positive changes not only within your team but also in your personal relationships.
Remember, leaders who lose their temper, employ sarcasm to make a point, belittle others, or emotionally punish them in a professional setting often exhibit the same behaviors in their closest family relationships. So breaking this cycle can lead to healthier interactions both at work and at home. It’s really worth the trip.
Excellence Doesn’t Have To Come From Pain
The "no pain, no gain” belief is an old paradigm that’s up for a change in these times. Whether it's authors, musicians, athletes, or business leaders, this belief has often been touted as the path to revealing greatness.
I’m not suggesting that hard work isn't a crucial component of creating something meaningful; it's just that it doesn't have to be so tumultuous.
You might be wondering, "But excellence is painful, so how can this be true?”
It’s painful because we made it that way. Business is tough because we created it that way. The notion that people must be driven by fear and pressure is a construct we've created and continue to perpetuate.
These are deeply ingrained patterns, but they can change, and it's up to all of us to make it different. This movie can play a pivotal role in shifting these old energetic belief patterns and elevate your awareness of how to change.
Repairing Rapport Is Difficult
Rapport is a powerful concept, defined as a close and harmonious relationship where individuals or groups truly understand each other's feelings and ideas, fostering effective communication. It's a fundamental aspect of all our connections, with varying degrees of depth. In essence, all connections are relationships.
As a leader, your rapport with your direct reports is a special and important connection, but it doesn't happen overnight; it requires time and effort to cultivate. This rapport can serve as a profound heart-based link, creating a safe space for exploration, growth, acceptance of mistakes, and ultimately, paving the way for remarkable results.
Your rapport with direct reports, colleagues, partners, and especially loved ones is a sacred bond. When you allow your frustrations and anger to spill over onto them, you risk severing that rapport.
Sometimes, this damage can be irreversible, and you may never fully recover it. Therefore, it's crucial not to let it slip away and instead nurture these essential connections. Because in the end, these connections are what makes life beautiful.
The Whiplash AMP film can serve as a powerful tool to remind you of the importance of respecting rapport as something sacred, beautiful, and worth preserving.
People Can Withstand Only So Much Intensity
I was working with a client one time that owned a company that turned failing businesses around so they could be sold to a new owner. He explained that this work was intense, demands immediate change, and it’s very difficult on the employees.
He went on to tell me that if a company can’t be turned around in 6-months, he won’t be able to pull it off.
I asked him, “why six months”?
He said because few people can withstand the stress for a longer period than that. After six months, you have to get new leaders and then the turnaround has a longer period - which is not his specialty.
I've personally experienced work environments where fear, stress, and even rage were used as motivational tools. It's disheartening to witness how these conditions can lead people to crumble under the pressure, lose sleep, suffer from depression, and eventually leave the company. Such toxicity is avoidable, and it doesn't have to be this way.
Whiplash drives home this point by illustrating the extreme consequences of pushing people too hard.
Now, let's pull over for a reality check.
Am I suggesting that we shouldn't hold people accountable for poor performance or settle for mediocre effort? Absolutely not. Remember the movie Buck, where the idea of being gentle but firm was discussed? You can set expectations firmly without resorting to demanding and intense pressure. True power doesn't require force.
Moreover, this leadership style is not only healthier for your team but also for you. When you make the shift towards heart-aligned leadership, those on your team who aren't in alignment with this new direction often choose to leave. They become uncomfortable with this heart-aligned approach, which no longer feels right to them, and they seek opportunities elsewhere.
In turn, you'll no longer attract employees who thrive on force. Instead, you'll find more powerful candidates showing up at your door. It's the magic of aligning with heart-centered leadership.
This movie can serve as a valuable guide on your path toward heart-aligned leadership, and you'll witness the positive changes that can unfold.
Force, Rudeness, and Unkindness is Dysfunctional and Leads To Disengaged Employees
When a culture is driven by force, it can quickly become stagnant, sluggish, and demoralized. This environment is stressful and can even turn toxic. Leadership driven by force demands immediate results, causing employees to stifle their creativity, hinder collaborative problem-solving, and disconnect from their inner guidance on what to do next.
In such an environment, employees often become passive, waiting to be told what to do like scared sheep. Others become disengaged, and their disconnection might go unnoticed.
These forceful leadership patterns are a major contributor to the alarming statistic that only 1 out of 8 employees worldwide reports feeling engaged at work, according to Gallup's State of the Global Workplace.
Globally, low engagement costs the world economy an estimated $7.8 trillion, per Gallup's 2022 report.
Employee engagement in the US dropped to 32% in 2022, down from 34% in 2021, a year that marked the first decline in a decade. At the same time, 18% of American workers said they actively disengaged at work, an increase of 2% from 2021.
These statistics have generated much concern in the business world, with various theories about their implications for the future of business.
My take on the study is that disengagement is a consequence of outdated leadership patterns that are up for change. In our book, It’s Just Commerce: Returning Balance to Business, we explore these patterns and discuss the emergence of a new set point – one that is more balanced, people-centered, and led by heart-aligned leaders who seek win-win outcomes in business.
Remember, we’re all swimming in the same fish bowl of human emotional patterns. When each of us makes a change, it paves the way for new, more positive patterns to emerge.
I encourage you to watch Whiplash as it can be a catalyst for shifting these old energetic patterns of force and leading the way towards more constructive and heart-centered leadership.
Key Resonance Upgrades from Watching Whiplash:
Release any need to use force tactics that sever intimate connections with colleagues and direct reports.
Release the belief that because you’re the boss, you get to behave however you want.
A letting go of the belief that people are inherently lazy and incompetent and if you don’t push them they won’t perform.
Releasing the bullying pattern within and how you deal with others.
Release the belief your bullying tactics are justified because you’re the boss.
Letting go of demanding perfection from yourself and others. There’s really no such thing as perfection.
A letting go of the belief that pushing people too hard is your winning formula as a leader.
A letting go of manipulative tactics that provoke turmoil on your team.
A realizing that creating crisis and fear doesn’t work in the long-term and creates unmanageable chaos in the short-term.
A letting go of any lingering patterns of arrogance, cockiness, and impatience with others.
A releasing of the belief that your anger and rage shows how much you really care.
The ability to love others and no longer allow your behavior to sever the rapport and heart connections with others.
A letting go of the belief that you have to withstand whiplash from your boss, colleagues, or anyone else.
For the full resonance benefits of this session, remember to start with The Intention Session first, and then watch the movie in its entirety. If you find yourself getting sleepy during the movie, pause and continue another day.
Thanks DAVID BARNES, for this incredible read. I only seen half part of the movie, Whiplash, I will be adding it to my "pick movie" for the weekend.